Here is a chapter that I wrote for the Servant Project book titled,
"Thriving and Surviving Cancer".
“And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer,
believing, ye shall receive.”
- Matthew 21:22
One day during a needed period of quiet time, I was listening
to a CD of ocean waves crashing on the beach. With each
crashing sound came words in my head to enjoy everything
around me: the beautiful blue sky, cool breeze, singing birds,
puffy white clouds--every minute of my life. I could feel love of
life through the waves and took this treasured gift of time to
connect with myself and make some significant choices in my
life.
My name is Linda Distler and I am a 2 ½-year breast cancer
survivor.
I had a double mastectomy, chemo and radiation treatment.
A positive attitude and a survival determination was
what helped me through this adventure. I was going to do
everything I could no matter how painful and miserable things
would get.
Side effects from medication forced me to go on disability
from my teaching job, but I made the choice to stay on the medicine
as long as necessary and would deal with the effects.
For the most part I have been able to keep my positive attitude.
This is a choice that I continue to work on. Yes, I have fear
that the cancer will return, but I try my best not to “go there.”
This carousel of life mind-set gave me the chance to discover
and grab onto my golden ring. The golden ring was
unconditional love, support, and help shown by my family,
friends and people I didn’t even know. Friends and family
delivered meals, took me on outings and out to dinner. They
sent many, many cards of encouragement. My teacher friends
organized two fun- filled slumber parties.
There was Pam, someone special I met during my chemo
treatments. She also was going through chemo and we became
great friends and chemo buddies. We scheduled our appointments
at the same time so we could visit, making the time go by
faster. We also enjoyed bugging the nurses to make them
laugh. We talked on the phone frequently, understanding what
the other was going through. We could laugh, cry and yell and it
was okay.
My strong faith helped, too. Knowing God has been my
rock.
About a year ago I decided I wanted to give back to others
who are going through cancer. I considered different ideas and
settled on writing a book entitled, Just Ask: Receiving with
Grace. I also speak to support groups about the act of receiving
with grace by asking for what you need.
You see, during my treatment I didn’t ask for the help I
needed. It was family and friends who gave unselfishly who
helped me learn the value of receiving. It allows others to feel
needed and express their love--a healing emotion..
Coming from the “female side of things,” I had a hard time
asking for support. Plus, being from the baby boomer generation,
I believed that as a woman, I could do anything. Women
are usually the care providers to our families. We give to our
children and husbands, to aging parents, and sick or in-need
family members. We take care of ourselves last.
What I am getting at is this: I really didn’t know how to ask
for support or help when I needed it, and my not asking showed
up in different unhealthy ways: stress, panic, anxiety, and
unhappiness. Sometimes I would get sick and then not know
why. It took me some time to learn that these powerful negative
emotions were affecting my health. Though I was aware of
what my body was experiencing, I had to discover that gold
ring. I had the power to choose to change my thinking. I realized
I could help change my health by changing my outlook.
And so can you.
Like me, do you find it difficult to ask for help? Think you
can do it all yourself? Pride get in the way? Feel guilty? Afraid
you ask with love and respect, many people will help. In fact,
people will come to you and ask what can they do to help.
Some think asking for help is a sign of weakness. It isn’t. It
takes courage and wisdom to ask for what you want. And sometimes
you may hear rejection, but the world won’t fall apart if
someone says no. By asking for what we need, those who really
want to help will. As you are being blessed from others giving to
you, then you can reciprocate if or when the occasion arises.
We each are rewarded with the gift of caring and love that
comes with the giving and receiving. Accept with grace and
love. And keep your eyes and ears open as receiving and giving
can come in many different ways.
I am grateful to be given a second chance in life and to be
able to share the lessons I have experienced with others.
“For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh
findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.”
Matthew 7:8
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