JUST ASK!

Here is a chapter that I wrote for the Servant Project book titled,

"Thriving and Surviving Cancer".

“And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer,

believing, ye shall receive.”

- Matthew 21:22

One day during a needed period of quiet time, I was listening

to a CD of ocean waves crashing on the beach. With each

crashing sound came words in my head to enjoy everything

around me: the beautiful blue sky, cool breeze, singing birds,

puffy white clouds--every minute of my life. I could feel love of

life through the waves and took this treasured gift of time to

connect with myself and make some significant choices in my

life.

My name is Linda Distler and I am a 2 ½-year breast cancer

survivor.

I had a double mastectomy, chemo and radiation treatment.

A positive attitude and a survival determination was

what helped me through this adventure. I was going to do

everything I could no matter how painful and miserable things

would get.

Side effects from medication forced me to go on disability

from my teaching job, but I made the choice to stay on the medicine

as long as necessary and would deal with the effects.

For the most part I have been able to keep my positive attitude.

This is a choice that I continue to work on. Yes, I have fear

that the cancer will return, but I try my best not to “go there.”

This carousel of life mind-set gave me the chance to discover

and grab onto my golden ring. The golden ring was

unconditional love, support, and help shown by my family,

friends and people I didn’t even know. Friends and family

delivered meals, took me on outings and out to dinner. They

sent many, many cards of encouragement. My teacher friends

organized two fun- filled slumber parties.

There was Pam, someone special I met during my chemo

treatments. She also was going through chemo and we became

great friends and chemo buddies. We scheduled our appointments

at the same time so we could visit, making the time go by

faster. We also enjoyed bugging the nurses to make them

laugh. We talked on the phone frequently, understanding what

the other was going through. We could laugh, cry and yell and it

was okay.

My strong faith helped, too. Knowing God has been my

rock.

About a year ago I decided I wanted to give back to others

who are going through cancer. I considered different ideas and

settled on writing a book entitled, Just Ask: Receiving with

Grace. I also speak to support groups about the act of receiving

with grace by asking for what you need.

You see, during my treatment I didn’t ask for the help I

needed. It was family and friends who gave unselfishly who

helped me learn the value of receiving. It allows others to feel

needed and express their love--a healing emotion..

Coming from the “female side of things,” I had a hard time

asking for support. Plus, being from the baby boomer generation,

I believed that as a woman, I could do anything. Women

are usually the care providers to our families. We give to our

children and husbands, to aging parents, and sick or in-need

family members. We take care of ourselves last.

What I am getting at is this: I really didn’t know how to ask

for support or help when I needed it, and my not asking showed

up in different unhealthy ways: stress, panic, anxiety, and

unhappiness. Sometimes I would get sick and then not know

why. It took me some time to learn that these powerful negative

emotions were affecting my health. Though I was aware of

what my body was experiencing, I had to discover that gold

ring. I had the power to choose to change my thinking. I realized

I could help change my health by changing my outlook.

And so can you.

Like me, do you find it difficult to ask for help? Think you

can do it all yourself? Pride get in the way? Feel guilty? Afraid

you will be rejected? “JUST ASK” for what you need. As long as

you ask with love and respect, many people will help. In fact,

people will come to you and ask what can they do to help.

Some think asking for help is a sign of weakness. It isn’t. It

takes courage and wisdom to ask for what you want. And sometimes

you may hear rejection, but the world won’t fall apart if

someone says no. By asking for what we need, those who really

want to help will. As you are being blessed from others giving to

you, then you can reciprocate if or when the occasion arises.

We each are rewarded with the gift of caring and love that

comes with the giving and receiving. Accept with grace and

love. And keep your eyes and ears open as receiving and giving

can come in many different ways.

I am grateful to be given a second chance in life and to be

able to share the lessons I have experienced with others.

“For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh

findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.”

Matthew 7:8